Wednesday, January 20, 2010

This Week's Sarcasm, I Mean, Ticker: Vol. 2 No. 36

*Embarrassed giggle* Now now, this is a family show.

Well there, that's less awkward. Let's talk about that:

So Friday was the great, all-deciding growth scan that wasn't great...nor did it decide anything. We were told "She's big, she's 8 pounds." Update on that lovliness in a previous post here. Then we spent the weekend waiting and being concerned, etc.

Monday evening at 5:00 I went in for a non-stress test and other testing, and a regular OB appointment. Nice OB lady explained to me that since the baby was measuring so large at the hospital I was now at high risk for shoulder something-something, a big bit of bad news that happens when the baby's arm and shoulder muscles are damaged during delivery due to their size. Could result in broken collar bone, permanent damage to muscles, or the inability to use the shoulder and arm. Not cool! I had to sign off on having a "CALM" study done (I'm sure the initials stand for something medical, and aren't simply there to urge you to remain, well, calm, in the face of this lovely new thing to worry about). This extra ultrasound study would determine baby's size (again), particularly shoulder size. If I "flunked" that, I would be encouraged to sign off on having an elective C-section. Which I've talked big about not minding the idea of, but at the actual thought of being faced with it, I can see why some women hate the idea. Along with that form came the risk chart for C-sections vs. regular births too. Just so you could freak a little more while you're waiting to be called in for the study. Yay.

Little D promptly failed the non-stress test (We couldn't keep her on the monitor, really. Mover!) and I got sent into ultrasound for the next step, a bio-physical screen. Basically they test muscle tone, bones, movement, etc., and give you a score. You fail any part of that, and they send you right to the hospital for God knows what. Probably to have a baby or something fun like that. Little D passed the bio-physical screen with flying colors, though! She looked "great". The technician noted to me several times that she was practice-breathing very strongly, a good sign for lung maturity. She was opening and closing her mouth, she was moving and shaking, she was all good. The tech threw in the CALM screen right then and there, and by her measurements, Little D was...*drumroll* 6 pounds 13 oz. Wha- wha- WHAT? What happened to the 8-pounder?

There's apparently a 15% margin of error on ultrasound weight guesses. Ohhhh! Joy. Why so much stock is put in them is beyond me. So she COULD be about 8 pounds, or she COULD be closer to 6 something, but my OB liked her own practice's measurements better. Me too. Duh. Now, I'm out of the woods for the CALM (shoulder issue) thing, and they're recommending NO INDUCEMENT. In fact, the OB I saw said she'd "like to see me have this baby as spontaneously as possible." Walking down the street: "I think I'll pop her out right after I go get some ice cream!" Sounds good to me. BUT she didn't like the failed non-stress test, and the fact that they'd threatened to fail Little D the last 2 times as well. I'm now going in twice a week for the whole NST-AFI-OB, random-letter-test battery. Scheduling nightmare, because every visit is 3 visits around the practice in one, timed as close together as they can get you. Plus if they don't like what they see I'm back on the "poop" list. Ok, not the poop list. The "You're going to have this baby when and how we say, even if that means today" list. I've decided that her health is the only crucial consideration of course, but I don't like that list. So my OB pulled me out of work on Friday. I was scheduled to work until February 5th. I walked out of that appointment over 3 hours later, btw. These things apparently take time.

Mixed feelings about this new development, of course. I know a new meaning of "tired" (which will be re-taught to me in a matter of weeks, surely) and should really be in bed right now...except I know what tomorrow looks like and I have no more time nestled in there than I did today, so if I want to blog, I do it now. I love the idea of some more time home with Maddie before Little D arrives (so Maddie can get nice and used to my attention before I rip it away from her...? Hmmm...) My sub is already lined up to shadow me Thursday and Friday. (And hopefully she'll still show up Monday!) It's just been a lot of work getting ready to leave. Grades to enter, stuff that's easier to do myself than explain to somebody else how to do, waving bye-bye to the munchkins, etc. I did employ some lovely child labor to get my room cleaned over lunch recess today. Wow, but can 4th grade girls file music well!

So that's it, I'm done on Friday. It's of course bittersweet, because HELLO, I have friends at school and I like appreciate conversations that don't involve the word "potty" or "Disney Princesses". Plus I'm one of the lucky few on earth who love what they do and don't mind going to work every day one bit. Work is not "work" for me, most of the time. (Getting up early sucks, but that's certainly not going to stop, is it?) Teaching and working make me feel like a creative, productive, purposeful adult. I may miss that.
But I'm looking forward very much to this maternity leave for so many reasons. I think most of all because I know I only get this last one...and I have the rest of my life to "work". So we're going to have some fun. Yes, for a while it will be some quiet, restful fun. Then some sleep-deprived, spit-up covered fun. But still. :-) Bring it.

Oh, and so far - you'll be proud of me! - I have planned NOTHING for Monday. Oh, except my non-stress test. And ultrasound and doctor appointment...and I should probably get the letters for the baby's room wall. Oops. I'm not good at this stay-at-home Mom thing.

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