(Paraphrased in sections, my memory is sometimes sketchy.)
M: Mommy why do some people not have two grandmas?
(We actually do still have both grandmas, except we don't call either of them "Grandma", despite the greeting card industry's insistence that we obviously should have.)
Me: Well everybody's families are a little different. Everybody has lots of different people in their family.
M: No, I mean, do some peoples' grandmas die?
(Oh.) Me: Well some people's grandparents are in Heaven, yes.
M: Oh. *Silence* For how long?
Me: Forever, sweetie.
M: But they weren't always. Like I wasn't always in Heaven, I came from Heaven and I was in your tummy and then I was born.
(Oh, boy.) Me, wondering where this new theory came from: Ok, yes, but God kind of decides when people are going to be born and when they die.
M: When did God decide I would be born?
Me: *SMILE* On your birthday!
M: Does God tell you that, like when the baby's going to be born?
Me: Yep, you definitely know when the baby's going to be born. Unless you're Mommy, and then you swear up and down you're not in labor cause it doesn't hurt that much and miss your chance for an epidural.
M: And then WHERE do you go? You go to the hospital to get the baby out of your tummy? Is that where you go then?
M: Did you know it was time for me to go into your tummy?
Me: Uh, sure! Hey, look, blueberry bushes!
M: Oooh! ...Mommy? ...where were you when God decided to put me in your tummy?
Me, totally copping out: Hey, I have Capri Suns, who wants one?
M: ME! Can you get the straw?
Me: Next traffic light, I'll get the straw.
(A few miles later)
M: Ok, when does God think I'll die?