This Week's Sarcasm, I Mean, Ticker: Vol. 2 No. 26

Well that we already knew was coming. Please! If there's any such thing as karma, I'm in so much trouble. I'm toast! But who doesn't look back on their teen years and fear for their parenting future? ;-)

Maddie's got attitude of course - but she's smart enough to insist, "No I didn't!" when you stupidly ask: "DID YOU JUST TRY TO HIT ME?" or tell her "You do not yell at Mommy!" You know, the usual. Her latest bit I loathe is the the passive resistance. Jelly legs - you know what I'm talking about. This is usually in response to teeth, hair, or PJ time. Or diaper changes. (Yes, STILL diaper changes. Anybody with helpful advice please stash it and then come over here and potty train her yourself. I pay room and board. Not that I've become defensive about it at all by well-meaning mommy/colleagues.) But try to just let her fall on the floor during a jelly-leg session and all the sudden she's sobbing and trying to call DYFUS on you. How COULD you, Mommy? I was in the middle of a protest!

BUT speaking of eye-rolling and causing trouble...

When I was about 2 months old I would roll my eyes back up inside my head. Often. For funnsies, I guess. Naturally, my Mom and Dad freaked, and took me to the doctor for a check. The pediatrician ran tests, and referred me to Hershey Medical Center. They ran more tests, because babies don't go all zombie-eyed naturally. My parents, as I've been told it, were informed that the doctors were hoping I was having epileptic seizures. After a SPINAL TAP (on a two-month old!) they concluded that I had "unusually elongated eye muscles", which I would grow into eventually. Nice, huh?

Maddie did nothing of the sort. (Thank you!)

If this little girl does any optical ping-pong ball impressions, at least I'll have a good theory about it.

Haven't had Bob try that yet. However, I'd like to know what paperwork I file to get Little D to relocate away from my right rib cavity. I remember this from Maddie, but it sure as heck wasn't this soon!

OB appointment today. Technically not 7 months until Sunday, so we'll call it a "6th month appointment, the sequel".