Tuesday, May 29, 2012

I love you, get away from me

*Saturday morning*

"What are you doing? It's not 8:00 yet."
"Ellie is awake and I can hear her."
"What time did I tell you you could get up and come in?"
"It is 7:40 and you've now been in here 3 times. Please: Go. Back. To. Your. Room."
*cue the mournful crying as she walks back slowly.*

AND now I'm officially awake. Grrr. I have Trouble falling back asleep if I'm awakened after several hours of sleep, even if those "several" are really as little as 4. This morning is an exception; I managed to convince my body to rest some more after Miss M ran out of toilet paper at 6:11AM (there was some next to the toilet, oh freakin' helpless child!) and 7:15, when the silk flower bouquet on her dresser 'came apart' (So much angst over flowers? God help you if you ever total a nice car.)  Now it's 7:40, and I'm quite unwillingly awake. I grumble about this to the husband, who grunts in response and will not remember any disturbance this morning whatsoever. Lucky bastard.
Shouldn't my baby be the one getting me up, not the five year-old? Oh that's right, I don't have a baby anymore! I'm done with babies, mainly partially because I LIKE MY SLEEP NOW LEAVE ME THE &#*$% ALONE!

oops, I mean...

In this moment of angry-tired, I question the practicality of our "no TV in their bedrooms" rule. (Would she be bothering me right now, or would she be watching morning PBS Kids?). Then I marvel at my child's apparent inability to be by herself in her room. There are toys, books, and a fantastic selection of art supplies for my doodle-loving child, all right there. So again: LEAVE ME ALONE. Er, I mean, "please go entertain yourself sweetie." Psst! And then leave me alone.

But rarely can she be alone, this one. While E is at the stage where she will sit and "read" in her room, M must have contact with you. Hands up, who's got this kid? Most of the time she will sit by you like a loyal golden retriever, rather than go play alone. It's just her thing. (My parents find this hilarious, because she is supposedly just taking after her momma here. I am sorry, Mom and Dad.) Like her doggie persona, she will hoist her solid little self into your lap and elbow your groin, right after you've said "I have to sit down and get this ______ done." Bob says he needs a protective cup top play with Miss M safely. 
She whines about playing by herself in her beautiful playground of a backyard. It's a paradise out there!  We have a trampoline - no, I'm sorry, we have TWO. (We have to deliciously spoiled kids, too.) Our swingset came with a small one, and the other I talked hubby into, citing the fact that it's basically a giant zip-up playpen of bouncy wonderfulness. In my mind's eye, I pictured the girls blissfully bouncing while Bob and I sipped coffee on the deck. HA.
I know one day I'll perpetually be missing my daughter's company. It's karma. After spending a decade seeking attention, I locked myself in my bedroom for years. 
But right now? Pre-8:00 AM on Saturday? See above, in all caps.
Go play by yourself!!!

This is the face we get.
Awww, don't feel bad, little guy. 
According to Miss M, nobody will play with her, either.

"I'm bored." 
"Will you play with me NOW?" 
"You never play with me."

Like many kids her age, she quite frankly sucks at this 'by-yourself' thing.
There's a concern that kids today aren't able to entertain themselves - and why should they? I can't. Constant access to communication and entertainment via technology (I loooove you, my new Droid Razr)  has rendered me unable to go to the bathroom without reading feeds on Google Reader or check my text messages. So in this bleary-eyed moment of unwilling wakefulness my daughter has caused, why am I angry?  It's the weekend, family time. And she's five. Why should I be banning her to her bedroom in tears when we all know I'm not going back to sleep? Why not go spend quality time together? Um, because I told her to stay in her room until her play clock set to 8:00 matched the real one on her wall, that's why. Mamma ain't doin' this every Saturday.

The night before, we had family friends over for dinner. After the party moved inside the total of four children proceeded to pester (I could say "request", but it's early and I'm grouchy) us big people to play with them. No, surprise, we did not want to. We were having grown-up conversation, thankyouverymuch. Doesn't help that it's May and we interact with various ages of kids all freakin' day... Go play in the giant playroom that ate our basement, by yourselves!!!
Yes, we're mean.  Being mean doesn't work. They come right back in cute costumes. Didn't there some secretive joy in playing with a group of children, when it was 'kids only, no grown-ups allowed!'?

Sorry, kids. At some point the parental need not be needed overpowers your cuteness.

So...why, when I can't be left alone without music blaring, Hulu playing in the background, or my 4G LTE-loveliness lighting up, should I expect a young child to? Why can't I just throw on the TV/Computer/multiple educational phone apps, and give up the dream of her reading a book or coloring a picture? We've been preaching that it's high time to embrace hand-held, instant-gratification technology in education; should we just suck it up and welcome it into our lives as a new way to hit the snooze button?

And just accept the fact that they're all going to be wearing Google Glasses in 10 years anyway...

You look ridiculous.

Actually, the night before, the four kids under the age of 8 did ok, considering they had played and bounced and played some more until 10 PM...

So back to the situation at hand: Up. Too. Early. Go. Away.
Wait a minute? The kid was up past 10:00 last night???
Miss M, my child, why oh why are you not sleeping till noon? Isn't that the deal? If we let you stay up to irresponsible hours that infringe on grown-ups only conversation, you sleep the heck in?

Needless to say, she stayed banished, without electronic devices.

And I left hubby asleep.
And got up and blogged.

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