Sunday, May 20, 2012

Do as I say...

As a kid, I was not a girly-girl. (Either envied or hated them.) I still eschew all things frilly - for myself. Black T and jeans girl here owns exactly one skirt. Finding out I was having a girl, I made a no-pink-on-my-daughters decree that few took seriously cause it's crazy-impossible in the baby girl clothes department.   Yet nowadays, my daughters' hair must be done properly - with bows, damn it! During every weekday morning rush I make time for combing and bow selection.  Because I have an addiction. Strangers stop me and ask me about my girls' hair accessories, and I love it. Darn you, bow-making friend. This is your fault. PS - I need another of the polka-dot ponytail streamers, please.
I know. This is what crazy looks like.
But I want more.

"Modern" woman that I am claim to be when discussing it with others,I believe in the true balance of power in marriage; we should be out of kitchen, wearing shoes, and most of the time, very unpregnant! Nobody really needs am man to tell her what to do!  I probably come off as domineering to the casual observer of my marriage. Whatever. Nobody orders anybody to make them a sandwich, got it? But, when making plans, social or otherwise, I always defer to my busy and shy husband, to first make sure it's ok with him.  I often ask his permission to buy stuff - and I'm not talking about cars or furniture; I bring small purchases to our shopping cart with a "please?" face. If the rare occasion to go out with teacher friends after school actually arises , they roll their eyes while I call to ask Bob if that's cool, and what time should I be home? All this is less fraudulent and more balanced, in my book, but seriously, the eye rolls!

Of course I admonish women who aren't responsible for their own money and their financial planning within their relationship. It's your money, too! Working or not - be an adult, know where your money is going, for yourself! Um yeah, I don't know how to do the bills. I'm not really sure what my actual salary is, either. Wait, there's a municipal charge for WATER? Really?? We will work on my financial education this summer. Just like we were supposed to last summer.

As I was just self-righteously saying in the staff room the other day: obviously any smart and caring parent would be responsible for her family's future, be realistic, and plan for the unthinkable to protect her children. Ready for some pathetic? We STILL don't have a will. Swear to God we'll do it by August.Yes I said that last year too.

Music teacher here plugged Band, Orchestra, and Chorus to my students like my life depended on it. "Playing in an ensemble is life-long fun, you can're replace this experience!". Band teacher Meg preached "We should strive for 100 minutes of practice a week, guys!" Hahahahaha! Ask me how much of my adult life I was actually practicing my own instrument, the one my beloved Mrs. Parchey plugged to 9 year-old Meg? How about playing with a group or two, since music is a joy best shared? Only took me 9 years to get back on that (Band) wagon. Sllllaaaacker. Oh, but you kids, you better sign up for Band next year! 

I so much want my daughters to grow up into girls who can change a tire, light a camp fire, build something substantial - actual structures, not just popsicle stuck stuff from A. C. Moore...I was just boasting that we are so taking Maddie to those kid seminars at Home Depot when she's old enough. Shh! She is old enough, we haven't gotten around to taking her so she can learn how to build stuff to make up or the fact that Mommy can't. And don't look for me to learn. That is what husbands are for. AND the Modern Woman from earlier just got very annoyed with me. The few times I've held a hammer I've turned a thumb nail purple. And not with polish.

Likewise, I loudly admire toughness in anyone, male or female; encountering scary or unpleasant stuff grin means you just grin and bear it, power through it, and do what must be done. Now, I will work straight through a bad cold just (miserably) fine. No. Time. For. Sick!  But that spider in the corner? Yeah, you're going to have to go kill that sucker, I'm already in the next room yelling for you to get it, get it, GET IT!!! This week at school a sweet little girl killed a sizable roach for me. With a hammer. She's my new freakin' hero.

Some girls have carved out of their lives a little time for nail appointments, yoga,  massage, charity work, extra graduate degrees - and I am so proud of them! These are such good things. I have done them all and more (ok, not the degree, but I'll get there) and So I started driving over the river and through the woods to play with a very decent community concert band, and that's my nail appointment. And not surprisingly, the other day I had a (male!) student basically tell me my nails look like crap. Hey, bridge tolls are cheaper.  We mommies always say to each other, as if we're not all in need of this advice ourselves, "You gotta take care of yourself! Take time for YOU!" How I looooove telling other women this, especially the 'take care of yourself' part.
Ha. Don't buy it, people. See above, about the cold.  I also stay up too late, 'forget' to exercise, and (try to) make the kids eat their veggies while I, uh, don't. Then I drink too much coffee, wine, 5 Hour Energy, and not enough water.  Just like everybody else, I bet.

Wondering how many others out there don't practice what they preach. 
Wondering if there are those who actually DO?

Though clearly I am ok with taking time for me...or I wouldn't be typing right now. Hmmm...
So maybe the "not as I do" part isn't so bad after all.

But I am NOT going after that spider.

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