Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Turkey Day Trivia Answers

1. How long were those poor Pilgrims at sea?
A) 66 days
B) 77 days
C) Until the moon was in the 7th house and Jupiter aligned with Mars.
D) Are we there yet? Miles just did verily puketh in mine Pilgrim hat.

Look, this is what my highly scientific research said.  I don't question the Wiki, do you?

2. The Mayflower: Pilgrims only, or a sea-shuttle for lots of non-puritan folks?
A) Infidels? On board the Mayflower?? Casteth ye out, Satan!
B) Yes, but only enough non-Pilgrims to munch on, should food get a little scarce.
C) Pilgrims and Puritans aren't actually the same religious sect. Get it right.
D) There was a whole mess of people going, the Pilgrims just came along too.

Actually called the "Separatists", which can refer to any group breaking off from what is considered mainstream ideology, the people we know as the Pilgrims were not the only folk getting lost and hitting Plymouth.  Random people went for all kinds of reasons - including, for some, the whole boat crew thing being their day job.  Nasty bit of a commute, huh? 

3. What year was the first Thanksgiving celebrated?
A) 1621
B) 2003. Oh, wait! That was our first Mock Thanksgiving (8 years running!)
C) The year I discovered you can put sausage in stuffing. So, 2002?
D) 1924

But Mock Thanksgiving was way more entertaining, and nobody starved beforehand.  Except the one year that the turkey was done like 2 hours late...

4. What food was NOT included in the Pilgrims' 3-day feast?
A) Sausage stuffing. Phooey.
B) Schwalm's Family Restaurant pumpkin pie, much to Dr. Sweigart's chagrin.
C) Green bean cassarole.
D) All of the above.

I know. What WAS the point without stuffing, at the very least? There was at least a nice cheese & cracker plate, I'm told. 

5. Were Indians invited to the Pilgrim's first feast?
A) They were, but it was strictly BYOB.
B) Just one, for the picture. Like a college brochure.
C) Yes.
D) No, they were busy Christmas shopping that day, but they sent their regards.

Well they had to infest the Indians with smallpox somehow.  This is how the traditional suburban "pox parties" came about, you know.  We can trace the intentional infection of our children with chicken pox back to the first Thanksgiving.  Who knew?

6. The potato is America's most beloved veggie. Why didn't the Pilgrims whip up some mashed potatoes for their big dinner?
A) Because good Pilgrims knoweth any plant from the nightshade family to be deadly.
B) Because nobody brought their stand mixer to the New World.
C) Because the potato is the devil's root.
D) Because they were watching their carbs. Pass the bird.

I'm sorry, a potato is not a vegetable as far as we diabetics are concerned, so they're all incorrect, really.

7. What is the oldest information source possessed today that documents the first Thanksgiving?
A) The colony newsletter.
B) A letter written from one Pilgrim describing the feast.
C) The stone tablets that Sir Moses Standish held up in that movie.
D) Wikipedia.

Again, I'm going with Wikipedia.  After that, the Charlton Heston reference makes the most sense. 

8. Which Christmas Carol was actually written to celebrate Thanksgiving?
A) Jingle Bells. But not the Steisand version. *Shudder*
B) O Holy Night.
C) All I Want for Christmas is My Passage Back to England.
D) Deck the Halls.

I hate Streisand. Clearly:  I hate her so much, I must have intentionally subconsciously misspelled her name up there. Whoops! Yeah, blinded by hate. 

9. Which country first adopted Thanksgiving as a national holiday?
A) The United States of Butterball. Otherwise known as America.
B) England.
C) Canada, but they do it in October so it's less of "Christmas: the Preamble".
D) Amuricuh. We're first at everything cause we're the finest nayshun on earth. It's our "strategery".

But I don't see how they avoid it clashing with their Halloween decor.  Little ghosty Pilgrms?  

10. What is the scientific name for the turkey?
A) Gobblus Wattlecus
B) Meleagaris Gallopave
C) Halyomorpha Halys
D) Passadi Gravys

That's Latin for "bird-with-stupid-name-but-compatible-with-cranberries".

11. What is Meg's favorite Thanksgiving food?
A) Un-candied Sweet potatoes - so nutrient rich and lower-carb!
B) Salad, because one should be careful to include various types of greens at each meal.
C) Cranberry sauce, out of the can, by the spoonful.
D) Two words: Clam. Dip.

And yes, I do scoop way too much dip per chip. Wanna make something of it?  Huh, Cait?

12. What is Bob's favorite Thanksgiving food?
A) Everything but the green beans.
B) The green beans.
C) Gravy.
D) Gravy.

He objects.  It's stuffing, he insists.  It's actually not stuffing, it's just BREAD, in any form. Onto such bread, he pours copious amounts of gravy.  Hence my misunderstanding. 

13. What is Miss M's favorite Thanksgiving food?
A) M&Ms.
B) Mashed potatoes.
C) Blanched garlic asparagus spears with lemon zest.
D) Turkey nuggets.

According to the latest poll, at 7:45 PM tonight, it's the potatoes.  Tomorrow it will have changed to whatever is put out as an appetizer at Aunt Cyndee's house.

14. What is E's favorite Thanksgiving food?
A) Gerber puffs, sweet potato flavor. How festive!
B) Similac Advance.
C) Whatever you're eating. Gimme that!
D) Um, her last Thanksgiving meal came through the umbilical cord, how should she know?

Two correct answers will be accepted, because she's a grabby little Gertie who won't actually consume whatever she managed to scoop into her mouth, unless it has the texture of a fine puree of water.  Yeah, we have texture kid.  Who called it? Project!

15. What's the best aspect of Thanksgiving?
A) Overeating, all day.
B) Nooooooo schoooooooolllll!!!!!
C) Sharing a joyous holiday with family and remembering that we are truly blessed.
D) We can finally listen to Christmas Music!

He he.  I have NOT been sneaking B101 in the car when alone.  Never. I wait till Black Friday like a good girl.  "Last Christmas, I gave you my heart. The very next day, you gave it away. THIS year..."

And the winner of the Turkey Day Trivia Quiz is: BOB. 

 OH, big surprise.  See, honey, aren't you glad I made you take this quiz? 
His prize is: I will drive home from the Thankfulness festivities, so he can loosen his belt and pass out along with the girls, all the way back through the woods and over the river.  

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