Guess I should have kept my maiden name

My last name has an apostrophe. Way back during my teen-aged years, I would have done anything for an apostrophe last name. How chic. How European and ethnic. My maiden name is short, weird, and perpetually mispronounced. I loved taking Bob's last name.
Turns out that my maiden name was the simpler of the two options.

My married name is a technological nightmare.

Since the beginning of this year I have spent many wasted hours of futility trying to wrestle with the various login/password combinations that are needed to conduct business in my school world.
I am not able to log onto the district website because despite the fact that 7 years ago I was assigned a username that included the apostrophe in my last name, the system decided over summer break that it no longer accepts apostrophes.

So this year I ask that my login name be changed so I can use the various forms I need to request sick & personal days, view and change facility calendars, and make custodial requests. And other stuff.
Turns out only a tech administrator can change it, and to ask that one of them do this, I must submit a tech work order. This, it turns out, I can only do if I log into the district website. Bang. Head. Here.

I explain this in person to a tech administrator, and he changes my login.
It works fine, and I get back to business.
Then one day, I can no longer sign into my district email. OH, turns out that once my district website login was changed, my email address no longer worked because it contained the apostrophe and the website login did not.
I requested that my email address be changed to no longer include the apostrophe. (Who in their right mind made an email address with an apostrophe in the first place? Don't get me started.)

Now, some district websites include those used for ordering substitute teachers, entering grades, and and submitting forms. Some of these have been changed (automatically?) to leave out my apostrophe, and some have not. Anytime I go to use one, it's anybody's guess what login name I have to use. Some have had their password changed to a standard 1234 when the change was made, and some have not.
Guess how many times I've been locked out of a website I'm trying to log into to get something done?
So I contact the tech administrator and he resets it for me. He's been a very patient tech administrator so far. I appreciate him.

Then recently, I yet again can't log in to the district website to fill out a form.
I get locked out from multiple attempts.
I email Mr. Patient Tech Administrator, and he resets my username and password quickly.
It still won't work.
He says to try restarting because they reset the network last night and yadda yadda yadda.
Ok, that worked! YES! I can dutifully fill out an online form and get back to my actual, real job of teaching little kids Music. Hooray.

Then my principal comes down to ask me to check that form because something is wrong with it. She can't access it on her end.
So I go to log back on:
NOPE.
Apparently it figured out that it was me again, so it shut down.
I write for assistance yet again. He tells me... (ready?)
"We may need to reset your username and password, and also your email address. They have to match, and they can't contain the apostrophe anymore, so we'll have to remove it."

Really, you mean the way you did a month ago, buddy? You mean we'll have to change it to the exact same email address I'm already using right now, the one I'm writing you from currently? You know what? I'll tell all you folks where to stick your username and password. We already did that.  What else you got?

I can only imagine how idiotic he must think me. I want to plead, cry and scream, "NO! This isn't like me! I'm one of the tech-savy people in my building, I swear! They call me for help when the computer teacher is busy! I'm not computer illiterate, darn it! I just married an Italian! Waaaaaah!"