Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Would You Just Relax?

Coming across a blog post on WorkitMom.com entitled "When Was the Last Time You Completely Relaxed?" made me pause. She was talking about taking a vacation from work and family, and completely leaving all concerns about both behind, for at least a weekend. Was I relaxed right now, surfing and blogging over my lunch hour? Sort of. But I know my next class is on their way in 10 minutes and I have to pick up stuff on the way home from work and I'm wondering how the crock pot is doing on that new experiment it's cooking at home...so no, not now.
How about last night? After the bare minimum housework was done, Bob and I decided to hit the couch and TV. After the Obama news conference, we Treked it. For the hubby and I, Star Trek TNG is our show of choice in the evenings right now. We're working our way through season 5 on DVD right now. But no, even then I was making a mental list of things to do tomorrow, Tuesday being my lighter day, schedule-wise. I get my plans done, my materials prepped, and Oh! Dont' forget to put in for that personal day next month! Nope. Not "relaxed". I'll settle for "sitting down" most evenings. That's cool.
This blogger was discussing taking a weekend off - a WHOLE TWO DAYS - away from family and obligation, to "relax". By herself. Alone, or with friends, but no family along. For a whole weekend, she said.
Weekends are my Maddie catch-up time. Weekends are how I balance out the hours a day I spend with other peoples' kids. Me time? Am I crazy to assume that I'll have that when I'm, um, OLD? I spend Maddie's weekend naps cleaning, making lunch kits for the week, folding laundry, and stealing a few facebook minutes if I can (you see what you people have done to me? Facebook minutes! Seriously!)
Still, the initial concept is alluring. A weekend away?
Well, away where?
My fantasy is sitting in the shade on the beach with a fabulous book and a fully stocked cooler, and no reason to have to get up off that comfy beach chair until I felt like going for a walk. No toddler to keep an eye on, no schedule to keep, no sippy cups to dust sand off of, hmmm...
That's not to say that I don't love love love those beach days with my family. Especially on dreary February days, I conjure those memories up happily. I love beaching it with Maddie. But while it's fun and the stuff of awesome summer days, it's not "relaxing". (And neither is hauling all that gear and crossing the miles of sand while the toddler squirms and wails about having to leave.) To relax, I'd need nothing to do but... nothing. I mean, HOURS of me, book, and beach.
Who takes these weekends away, anyway? Mothers? Mothers of toddlers? Honestly? They just up and leave? How? How do they get away with it? How do they rationalize it? How do they focus on the fun and not the family all weekend? Do most people do this? I doubt it. At least not middle-class mothers who don't have live-in nannies and don't have the guilt factor of having to work all day for a living. Maybe some stay-at-homers could swing it, emotionally, but I'm not living that life.
I'm questioning the sound mind of this blogger who takes weekends away. I would enjoy the first few hours of me-time and then find myself wondering what my family was up to without me, to tell the sad truth.

But as I stare out my classroom window I'm thinking, "Yeah. Someday." Someday, mark my words, I'm going to spend 12 hours on the beach without interruption. With the obvious trips up to the boardwalk for a potty break.

2 comments:

CaitRenee said...

I don't think anyone relaxes. I think it's a myth. I look at my life and I see bare minimum responsibility, yet there are hundreds of things I stress out about everyday. I just think people assume you hardworking/responsible/important/ worth much unless you've got a lot on your plate.

Thomas said...

Meggie, time to yourself is recharging. Do it if/when you can. You're not taking anything from anybody, it's kind of like when the airline tells you to use the oxygen mask on yourself before you put it on your child.

Love ya,
Dad

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