Went to bed around 11:00, read till 11:15 or so. Maddie was up at 11:30. And 12:00. And about 12:30, until 2:00. Tooth? She's always getting teeth, but that usually doesn't mean she won't sleep. She's mostly a fabulous sleeper. I brag to my friends how my awesome daughter sleeps. (Of course, their kids would actually eat at 6 months old, so they still one-up me.)("Sleepy Head" ...the jammies lie.)My guess about the cause of last night: separation anxiety; having a hard time adjusting to our new back-t0-school schedule. She actually cried yesterday and today, when I left the house. And she doesn't cry when you leave, this kid. For a while last year, she cried when I'd get home; "Hey! That's right! You left me!" But come on; she was at home, she was with Nana, and there were toys to play with. Why worry about Mommy or Daddy going bye-bye? Things to do!
It does weird things to me, this crying when I leave. On one hand, it pumps up the working-mommy guilt. Because I'm a nutcase, I sat down last night and calculated how many hours she's awake, then figured out how many hours a week I'm with her and how many hours I'm away. You ready? I'm there 61% of the time. For a working parent, that's not bad at all. But the thought of missing 39% of Maddie time, the crazy-cool things she does and says...that's heartbreaking.
And then there's the other hand; The guilty-insecure Mommy's brain feels bad that she's upset, feels bad for Nana who has to deal with that upset, but whispers anyway: "She cries when I leave! She misses me!"
Yes, I know she loves us and misses us when we're gone. I don't need that pep talk. We're Mommy and Daddy. Of course she does! But the reminder is nice, when you have the child who usually doesn't bat an eye when you go to work. The closet-fretter than I am, like many, I worry about the whole being-there-for-your-child-work-vs.-home thing. It's actually really nice to have a little reminder that she cares.
Yes, sick, aren't I? I know it.